How we build trust with people in prison

Sometimes, people in prison don’t trust us – often because they’ve been repeatedly let down by the systems designed to support them. Trust isn’t built through big gestures, but through small, consistent actions over time. Here are just a few of the ways we build trust at StandOut.

Last week, we had a conversation that stayed with us.

We’d been told about a man who had been circling in and out of prison for years – released homeless, then reoffending so he had somewhere to sleep. A bleak, yet sadly familiar situation.

We visited him at his cell and spoke through his door – explaining our course and the support we offer before and after release. We could, we said, work with him to secure somewhere to live, so he didn’t have to come back.

He said no.

He’d been promised support before – many times – and let down. He didn’t believe we would help him. He didn’t trust us.

It does happen. Sometimes we explain what we do, offer support, and people turn us down – not because they don’t need it, but because others have overpromised and underdelivered. And we understand that. Trust has to be earned, especially for people who have been let down repeatedly. At StandOut, we build trust consciously, through our everyday interactions.

We establish a partnership

Right from the beginning, we’re clear: you’re in the driving seat.

The people we work with are capable and resourceful. They can find answers and create change. Our role isn’t to do everything for a participant, but to work alongside them. They tell us their hopes and needs, challenges and aspirations, and we work together – in partnership – to make progress towards them.

This is where trust begins – by showing people that they are in control of their own lives, and that we are there to work alongside them, not direct them.

We set high expectations

We believe in people’s capacity for growth, and we hold them to it. This is a key part of how we build trust – showing participants we take them, and their potential, seriously.

From day one, coaches are clear about how they will treat participants, and how participants are expected to treat them – and each other – in return. These expectations are pinned to the wall throughout the course, acting as a gentle but consistent reminder. When someone falls short, coaches address it directly.

Participants regularly tell us they value this. High standards create an environment in which people feel safe enough to learn, try new things, and where they are encouraged to aim higher.

One expectation in particular stands out: “Be prepared to be challenged, and make changes.” Coaches identify and amplify participants’ strengths, while also stretching them – through challenge – in areas for development. They don’t forget these challenges, holding participants accountable and reinforcing that their growth matters.

We listen

We coach, and model, good communication.

Too often people in prison are heard but not listened to. That can be immensely frustrating and, in certain situations, even dangerous. Being truly listened to helps build trust.

We create space to really listen; we give people our time and – despite the busy life of a prison or community coach – we don’t rush. We make a point of maintaining eye contact to show we are paying attention, and we reflect back what people have said so they know we’ve understood.

We follow through

We do what we say we’re going to do.

On the day of that conversation, Rosie was moving from wing to wing, tracking down the 11 participants listed on her clipboard. With each one, she checked in: how they were doing, what they needed, what had changed.

They were on her list for different reasons. One had just received a long sentence, and she wanted to see how he was coping. Another was struggling to access healthcare, and she wanted to find out if anything had improved.

After each conversation, she jotted down an action alongside their name, along with a date she would return with an update. And she did come back – just as she and other coaches had done, time and again. That’s why they trust her.

We also make a point of being clear when things change – such as a shift in how often we’re on the wings when a course begins. Keeping people informed matters; it shows respect and reinforces that we won’t simply disappear.

We choose our words carefully

Trust depends on honesty – so we say what we mean…

StandOut works hard to ensure we aren’t like the organisations that let the man down. We’re careful not to overpromise – we’re honest about what we can achieve. The participants Rosie spoke with that day knew she would try to help, but prison life is complex and there’s only so much we can do.

…and we mean what we say.

It's not often you hear something positive about yourself in prison, and we're glad to step in and recognise people’s strengths. These moments are balanced with challenge and encouragement to keep striving for better. We name what we see.

We’re human

Finally, we build trust through simply being human. We don’t always get it right – that’s part of it. We admit when we’re wrong, and apologise when we need to.

We use humour, laugh at ourselves, and share our own failings and setbacks with participants. We all have a lot to learn, and a lot to learn from each other.

So, when someone says no, we don’t take it personally – we keep turning up and doing the small things that, over time, might help them say yes.

At StandOut, we show up - day after day - to build trust with people leaving prison. Click below to support our work.